Left Behind
by obsydiandreams
Summary: Takes place just after End of Days. Quite literally.   implied Jack/Ianto... mentions of the rest of the team.


Its another vent-fic. I'm still dealing.

Disclaimer: Jack belongs to Ianto… forever. Both belong to some random acronyms that are mistreating them. I want to steal them and take better care of them.

Comments are love.

It felt like his world had fallen out from beneath him. Jack was kissing him. In front of everyone. And Ianto didn't care. In point of fact, he pulled Jack closer, every motion a promise for later….

Later…

Ianto fell to his knees... the coffees that he was carrying for himself and Jack spilling, unnoticed, to the floor. Somewhere, in the back of his brain he was thinking to when he'd have to clean that up… It was going to get sticky, and he hated sticky floors. The front of his mind, though, was screaming for Jack.

Oblivious to the others looking around the Hub… Ianto stared at the spot where the Doctor's hand had been. And he knew. He knew that he had been left behind. Ianto had known that he was just a shag to Jack, but he had allowed himself to hope, just a little. The kiss that they had shared mere hours ago, hadn't that meant anything? Gods, this was why he had tried not to let himself get too close to Jack. Everything that ever got close to the Captain, inside his little circle… everything inside there got hurt. Jack didn't do it on purpose, half the time, he didn't even realize it. He was more like his Doctor then he realized, in that respect. Both men commanded such awe. Both had almost a ring of gravity around them that pulled people in, but they were as the sun. Destructive if one got too close.

And Ianto had gotten too close. Far too close. He had never been the sort of person to allow himself that, but almost against his will, Jack had pulled him in. He'd gotten too close and now he was getting burned.

All of this flashed through his head in the mere seconds that it took him to notice that the hand was missing. He pulled himself up off of the floor of the Hub and walked, almost preternaturally calmly to the nearest computer monitor. He pulled up the CCTV from outside, and just in time too. They all watched as the TARDIS flashed out of existence, a screaming Captain hanging on for dear life. Ianto watched and waited for the blue box to return, but it didn't. He watched for ten full minutes, before Gwen softly touched his arm.

"Ianto…. He's gone."

For the second time that day, Ianto felt his world fall out from beneath him. He stumbled backwards to the couch that his subconscious knew was there. He sat down heavily with his head in his hands. "Jack" he whispered, disconsolately.

The other three members of Torchwood watched the young Welshman silently. Each had been different levels of surprised to see the kiss that Jack had shared with Ianto after reviving. Tosh had known. Tosh had her collection of CCTV videos from around the Hub. She was good… Jack erased them every time, but she always managed to get them back. And she had seen the two men together, and knew that it was so much more than just shagging. They were too tender, too careful with each other. This is why, when, not if, but when Jack came back, she was going to smack him around a bit for hurting her friend.

Owen, for all of his bluster and sarcasm wasn't stupid. Not to mention, he did all of the physical exams on the Torchwood members, and had consequently seen the marks that the men left on each other. Scratch marks down the back, love bites on neck, shoulders, chest, etc. He just liked to pick on Ianto, he knew it pushed the Welshman's buttons. And Owen was just like that. But right now, he was pretty pissed at Jack. Tea-boy, despite all of his outward stuffiness, was fragile inside. Owen wasn't just the team's medical doctor, he also paid attention to all of their mental states. And he had noticed that Ianto had been happier lately…

Gwen was the most surprised. She had figured something was going on with the two men but she didn't realize it was that serious. The kiss she had just seen though, that was one of the most passionate she had ever seen. Even Rhys didn't kiss her like that. There was so much more than just physicality in that kiss. There was promise. There was hope and passion and tenderness and a potential for emotion so strong that it would crumble lesser men.

But right now, that promise had been broken. That potential had just shattered. With one move, Jack had taken this far too recently healed man, and broken his heart again.

Ianto stared at the floor where the coffee was starting to dry. In a flurry of motion, belying his current mental state, he strode towards the closet where the cleaning supplies were kept. He began to clean the floor, tossing the spilled cups into the bin and scrubbing at the floor over and over again, until the brush was dry. Throwing the bucket and brush back into the closet, Ianto, without looking at the other members of his team, climbed the stairs to Jack's office, and shut the door carefully behind him. He clicked the lock over and turned slowly, taking in the scent of Jack.

Ignoring everything, he fell into Jack's chair, as it slid backwards slightly with the force of his landing. The tears came almost immediately after he sat, and he held his head in his hands. His sobs came freely, now that he was alone. In the back of his mind, he knew that the rest of the team was down there, wondering about him… probably thinking about that kiss. He had given himself over to Jack, in that moment. He had given himself truly and fully, ignoring the fear for what the others would think, ignoring his need for propriety and dignity, and melting into the Captains embrace. He should have known that he meant nothing to Jack. That at the drop of a hat, or more appropriately, a TARDIS, Jack would be off. He prided himself on knowing everything.

Ianto felt like his heart had broken in half. After Lisa, he had shattered once and Jack had put him back together again. In the four weeks that he was "suspended" Jack had come by every night and had talked to him. Nothing more than that, just been conversation and coffee. Jack had shown him that he could live again. And of course, it had hurt. Especially since this was the man who had told him at gunpoint to kill his Lisa. His love. But over that month, he had grown to see Jack for what he truly was. Jack had shown him that there was a man behind the Captain, vulnerable and fallible and scared. Of course, Jack hadn't known that he was showing these things. Captain Jack Harkness never showed weakness. Except that he had let his guard down around the young Welshman. He had stayed true to his promise to himself to take care of the man, and to try to get closer to him. And in doing so, in all of the stories he would tell, in all of the soft hinted touches that he would share with Ianto, he showed his true tenderness. And Ianto slowly fell in love again.

He didn't realize it of course, he was still so full of grief. But the glue that was mending his heart was the soul of Jack. Both of them were broken men, and were healing each other. Both had such scars, but neither noticed. And in the end, Ianto realized that he had let Jack get too close. Sitting here, now, forgotten for the Doctor, the glue that was Jack Harkness turned brittle, and all of those little bits and pieces that had been mended, began to fall apart.

Ianto knew that he was probably overreacting. He heard the cog wheel door slam shut, and then knew that he was alone in the Hub. He dried his tears and clucked softly, calling Myfanwy down to him. She alighted with a flutter of giant wings, staggering towards him. "Feeding time, beauty" he called, as he tossed her an unwrapped bar of chocolate. She took off again, prize in her beak, flying back to her aerie. He wished he could fly away. Take off, and soar through the clouds and leave this place behind.

Maybe it was time. He glanced at the little bottle of Retcon, sitting forgotten on Gwen's workstation. She'd had to use it on one of her cop friends, who'd been called out on the last Weevil sighting. He stared long and hard at the vial, before realizing that there was no way in hell that he would ever be able to muster the strength for that. His memories of Jack may be short lived, but they were all he had. And he couldn't forget Lisa and what had happened to her. Someone needed to keep that memory alive.

He paced for hours, keeping himself awake with regular draughts of coffee… He kept trying to convince himself that he would hear the TARDIS again. He had heard the sound it made, somewhere between a dying cat and a vacuum. A very distinct noise, one that he could hear in ever little twitch of sound that the Hub made. He finally fell into a restless sleep on the chair in Jack's office, a cooling mug of caffeine on Jack's desk.

This would be the first of many nights. The first of many wanders round the Hub. So many nights when he would exhaust himself, simply to pass out surrounded by the never fading scent of his lost lover. And piece by piece, the glue that had repaired his heart, would break. And Ianto became nothing more then a shell, leaving bits of his shattered heart, with little bits of the soul of Jack, around the Hub.


End file.
